Bob: How was your christmas?
Dan: Chaos. Neither of the kids were well so no-one got any sleep and it was really stressful. You?
Bob: Same. What a shit christmas.
“‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Coughing and spluttering
And a vomiting mouse.”
Dan: Ha! But remember: baby Jesus loves you.
Bob: He was a fucking BABY. He loved tits, sleep and waking other people up. Notice how they missed the part in the nativity where the shepherds and Kings got up and left saying “Saviour or not, you noisy bastard, you’re doing my head in”.
Dan: I like tits and sleep too, but I see no reason to be a dick about it by waking people up and telling them.
Bob: Yeah, and we don’t start screaming when we haven’t had either for two hours.
Dan: … speak for yourself.