The Art Of Not Drinking

2015-01-16 11.05.03

DAN: Good morning, dear Sir. How are you on this fine day?

RICH: Pretty good I think! Nice to awaken without a hangover. Not missing the early morning grumpiness that goes with daily wine intake and feel quite pleased with 4 nights sober in a row. This may not sound like much of an achievement but it is for me, especially since I went to the pub on Wednesday and my beautiful wife was drinking last night. (Yes, I am ready for my sainthood, thanks for asking. The world needs more atheist saints.)

So other than a vague undercurrent of depression that I may be sacrificing my hopes and dreams in order to be a family man with a regular income, (my default state), I’m pretty good.

How are you?

DAN: Amazingly, I could cut and paste your response with only the following edits and it would be valid:

“Pretty good I think! Nice to awaken without a hangover. Not missing the early morning grumpiness that goes with daily wine intake and feel quite pleased with 4 5 nights sober in a row. This may not sound like much of an achievement but it is for me, especially since I went to the pub on Wednesday and my beautiful wife was drinking last night I REALLY wanted a beer yesterday and there’s a can of Speckled Hen in the fridge staring at me. (Yes, I am ready for my sainthood thanks for asking. The world needs more atheist saints.)

So other than a vague undercurrent of depression that I may be sacrificing my dreams and hopes in order to be a family man with a regular income, (my default state), having a job I actually like in order to pay for the house we just bought, I’m pretty good.

How are you?(that last bit wouldn’t work, otherwise we could end up in an endless cycle).

Impressed you managed to resist when wifey was on it. Kudos. I could also add in that I’m having small yet regular panics that I’m soon to move into a house that is going to be FUCKING EXPENSIVE for the next 30 years, resulting in me being trapped in a job that I only sometimes enjoy for the rest of my useful life. And don’t get me started on the dreams bit.

RICH: Congrats on the five days! I’m gonna aim for seven and see how I feel. And remember, as Stephen Fry once said,

“The knowledge that one is not alone is priceless.”

I know exactly how you feel about the house- perhaps not on the same scale, but I can empathise.

The argument: But EVERYONE ELSE hates their job and does stuff for money and no other reason!

Me: But everyone else is also (and lets be clear about this) a cunt. With a few notable exceptions.

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