So, we’re watching In the Night Garden. Again. And it suddenly hit me – if you imagine that Macapaca’s trumpet is actually a bottle of Scotch, it all takes on a horrible, dark twist. Living by himself in isolation, wheeling around his trolley filled with all his possessions, constantly taking a pull to numb the pain. He cleans the metaphorical windscreens of the other characters’ faces, but they never pay him.
Or, as @EyeonicDJ stated, maybe it’s a crack pipe. Which actually makes more sense. I mean, the guy collects rocks and lives in a cave. And look at those bags around his eyes – he’s a common crack fiend. Going to sleep at night, hugging a rock to himself; his only comfort in a world of colour and light that he just doesn’t fit into. If only someone could release him from his crippling addiction, or show just one act of kindness – maybe he wouldn’t feel so alone.
Or maybe In the Night Garden is just fucking weird.
And maybe so am I.
BOB: Not to put my neck out too much here, but has anyone else’s penis shrunk in length, girth and circumference after the years of parenting? Almost as though it’s retreating in fear of creating another one of these soul leeching lovelies. Looks like an acorn poking out of a wire wool nest these days.
RICH: Aii! Now I’m not gonna be able to look at an acorn without thinking of your tackle. Some poor web-browsing dad will have happened across this site and thought, “Ah, that sounds useful and supportive… What’s this? Explicit content? There doesn’t seem to be any… argh! No!”
But to answer your very brave question, I have to say no. Sorry. Mine has stayed the same since my teens apart from what I can only call a growth spurt (I won’t ask you to pardon the pun, I have no shame) when I was around twenty. And although that was exciting at the time it still only took me from “average” to “about average.”
Do you think the retreat has happened through neglect or overuse? Or is it just the cold weather?
DAN: I also cannot confirm any reduction, I’m afraid. Not because I’m sure it hasn’t happened, mind you. More that it’s been so long since I’ve had the time, inclination or energy to think of using mine for anything other than passing waste fluids that I simply haven’t looked. And since our bathroom is right next to the nursery, I have gotten into the habit of sitting down to piss as a noise-reduction strategy so I don’t even get to say hello to my monster or rub his back / hold his hair back whilst he’s being sick.
BOB: Ha ha… No no… mine neither. I was just making a funny first post. Nothing really wrong with my King Kong.
DAN: … awkward…